Boredom

Hey to myself since i'm the only one here,

Anyway, i just wanted to share my routine with the world that's is say to me. Those days i do nothing except listening to music, i listen to a lot of stuff, but i tend to listen to Oriental jazz (i hate jazz but it's orientalized it sounds better) anywho i discovered a great Syrian band called Itar Shameh, the lead singer is Rasha Rizk who sang in Nadine Labaki's Caramel soundtrack (music by Khaled Mouzanar) here is their website: Itar Shameh . I also listen to a lot of Arab Oldies, i listen to Warda, Fairouz, Wadih Safi, Sabah etc. They made great music at this time!

I spend my days watching tv shows if they're out which is not the case every week (Damn you, CBS, ABC and FOX!) I also watch Star Academy LBC, one of my favorite candidate (Miral Faisal from Syria) got kick out last week, which sad and this week another one (Zeina Aftimos again from Syria) maybe kicked out tomorrow night, i hope she won't fingers crossed!

I also attend a Turkish tv show, called Gönüçelen with Tuba Büyüküstün <3 it's a great show, i love it every friday even those i don't understand Turkish!

Why am i writing? Well i don't have much friends, i still have only one out of two now. It seems that the person i considered my friend, thinks that i don't worth a phone call, a message, an email or a facebook message, to know about i'm doing, to speak to me. I've all been there of her but when i needed someone to talk to, to talk about anything, in order to stop feeling lonely, i just needed someone to reach me out, someone who showed that she cares about me her friend. It seems that it was too much to ask. I've always said i would never argue with that person, it's not possible, it ain't gonna happen, only, i didn't take in consideration that i have feelings and that i could be hurt by words or behaviours. I'm hurt, really hurt. As always i'm the rebound friend. Am i that a bad person to deserve such a misfortune in friendship? When i think about it i feel sad because until now she didn't care to call me, see how i am doing, to fix the situation, no! nothing! The so-called special place i got in her heart wasn't that special after all.

Now i only have one friend, i hope our friendship will last, i fed up with being alone, when i see people who have true friends who last for years i have a pinch in my heart  because i never had that. I am the nice girl, the buddy but never the close friend. I pity myself.

Here is a song i really identify my life with. The title is Ghariba El Nas which meaning Strange People, the song says: "Ghariba El Nas, ghariba el donia diya, 3az el nas bit ghayr 3aliya, mafish ehsas, mafish walla zekra liya." : "how strange people are, how strange this life, the most precious one to me is changing, no feelings, neither any remembrance for me."